10 Things Not to Say To a Father To Be

When your boy comes up to you and informs you he and his wife are expecting their first child, here are 10 things not to say:

10. You're life is now over
9.   Enjoy getting to know your hand because it will become one with your penis
8.   The days of you running naked with your wife around the house are now over
7.   The average cost of raising a kid is $380,000 and that's if you live in a 3rd world country
6.   Have you ever watched MSNBC's To Catch A Predator
5.   Can we alternate years on claiming that little tax break?
4.   Cool, I'd give your wife a baby too she's smoking hot.
3.   Glad to know your penis works, imaging how many kids you'd have if you didn't have socks
2.   Are you sure it's yours?
1.   Damn, I just lost 100 bucks - you're not a DL brother